Education

Ph.D. Integrated Textile and Apparel Science, 2002; Auburn University

Thesis: Fire-retardant Fabric Applications for Post-Apocalyptic Climates

Ph.D. Paranormal Psychology, 2000; Harvard University

Thesis: A Blend of Fringe Science, Paranormal & The Asinine

M.S. Accounting, 1996; Berkeley College

Thesis: The Foundations of Quantitative Finance Amidst Squalid Communal Populations"

B.A. Private Investigation, 1992; Brown Institute

Thesis: Investigation of Cross-Cultural/Inter-Racial Semantic Analysis Processing

B.S. Environmental Design, 1992; University of British Columbia

Thesis: Computer Modeling Accessible, Sustainable and Kosher Garden Spaces for Y2K

Work Experience

July 2008 to Present - C.E.O. Grubs Inc., LLC

Mar 2008 to May 2008 - IMAX Screen Cleaner

Nov 2007 to March 2008 - Independent Gear Designer

May 1997 to September 2004 - C.E.O. Red River Rising Inc.

May 1992 to December 1996 - Certified Public Accountant

Publications

Intentional Misuse of Polyester Threads in Prototype Spacesuits - © 2002

Clown College Conundrum: The New Vaudevillians - © 2000

White Collar Crime: Incest Below the Mason Dixon Line - © 1996

Anthrax and it's Variance in Quasi-particulated Erasing Agents - © 1986